Angry Pregnant Lawyer

Rest in peace, Bea Arthur

2009-04-28T20:42:00.003-04:00

I looked for the "Malcolm in the Middle" episode where she sang ABBA's "Fernando," but I couldn't find it anywhere. So the Star Wars Holiday Special will have to do.

Unlike Ms. Arthur, I am still alive. Bullets from underground:

ALB got his first haircut. At age 2 and 2/3. My fine-haired baby. He didn't seem traumatized, either. Small victories...

AB is enjoying tee ball. Well, the part of tee ball where he's up to bat. The whole catching-and-throwing thing, not so much.

Work is bearable, which is all I'm asking for right now.

My mood tomorrow will be entirely dependent on the outcome of tonight's Caps game.

ALB shouts "Let's go Caps!" whenever he sees an ice rink on TV. So when we flipped through some ice skating last weekend, I was treated to "Let's go Caps! Let's go Caps!" Only from him, it sounds like "Wez go Caah!"

I am still reading your blogs, even though my comments are practically nonexistent. I am not on Facebook--this is all I have! So don't stop blogging!

UPDATED TO ADD: Hell yeah, wez go Caaaaaaah!!!!

Three hours

2009-04-02T20:29:00.002-04:00

I'm watching three hours of ER-related television tonight (one-hour special followed by the two-hour series finale). That's a lot of ER, but I've watched every hour of this show for 15 seasons... well, save one. Of all things, I missed the episode where Abby and Luka got married. Which is ridiculous, if you know what a huge fan I was of that relationship, dating back to season 7.

Serious fangirl squealing going on in my house tonight.

Depression fashion redux

2009-03-27T20:50:00.002-04:00

I've noticed more and more businessmen wearing hats when I'm downtown. Not as many as in this picture, but I'm counting at least 4 or 5 guys in old-timey hats a day.

But I don't sing like one

2009-03-25T21:38:00.002-04:00

Today my boss told me I write "like an angel." I had no idea how to respond to that. (I still don't handle praise well.)

But it was a very nice thing to say.

ELO and Gene Kelly, what more do you need?

2009-03-21T22:57:00.005-04:00

I'm staying up later than I'd like merely because I need to wait a total of 6 hours before I can give AB another dose of Motrin (he's had a ridiculously high fever all day). But I just saw that Xanadu is on TV! So now it won't be so hard to stay up for a while.

The boys, they are a-craaaaazy

2009-03-15T21:37:00.002-04:00

This evening was punctuated by my screaming, many times, to get the attention of the two youngest males in the house. (The two oldest males -- the husband and the dog -- were above reproach, as usual.) There was much discussion of sharing and taking turns. And playing nice. And not gloating. And not wrestling on the bed. And not jumping on our brand new couch. And not talking back (that one was directed solely at the child who is very capable of talking).

All of which makes it sound like I had a horrible day, but it was actually quite nice. As ALB napped, AB came and sat with me as we watched The Waterboy together (yeah, it's got some inappropriate language, but not too much). He loved the football scenes and the happy ending. And later, ALB sat on my lap while I read a magazine and he watched some Disney cartoons, and I got to smell his nice, clean, baby-shampoo hair.

As I was putting ALB to bed (with his bear, his blankie, and the regulation baseball he decided to take to his crib), I turned off the light and held him in my lap. I told him I wished it wasn't Sunday, because I wanted to spend all day tomorrow with him, too. He looked at me in the dark and said, "Bees-ball."

Hail to the Redskins... from my couch

2009-03-12T20:45:00.004-04:00

Dude, I am Larry Shaughnessy:

Like Larry, I got my "CONGRATULATIONS!" letter from the Redskins last week. We had put ourselves on the waitlist for tickets back in 1998, so we didn't have to wait that long to make it to this point, all things considered. But why did we get the letter now? Our retirement funds have been cut by half, not to mention the kids' college funds (ALB's is looking more like one semester's worth of books now). Although my job is looking pretty secure, NSAH's chosen field isn't recession-proof. We just bought a much-needed new couch. We need to buy an oven soon (a few months ago we replaced our ancient fridge with a new, more energy efficient one). And eventually (hopefully not soon, knock on wood) we'll need to replace NSAH's car, and then mine.

So I think we're going to have to decline. The only silver lining is that Dan Snyder won't get my money.

25 authors

2009-03-11T21:30:00.002-04:00

As seen at Musey's:

List the top 25 authors who have inspired you or made you think over the course of your life. My list is in no particular order. The first 11 were easy, but the rest took more thought:

F. Scott Fitzgerald

William Styron

Carrie Fisher

John Irving

Susan Faludi

Dorothy Parker

Barbara Kingsolver

Barbara Ehrenreich

James Gleick

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Louisa May Alcott

Lloyd Alexander

Thomas Mann

John Christopher

Ray Bradbury

Alfred Slote

Madeleine L'Engle

George Orwell

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Edgar Allen Poe

John Steinbeck

Ralph Ellison

Mark Twain

Stephen Hawking

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Two questions prompted by tonight's Oscars show

2009-02-22T21:54:00.005-05:00

1) Is it sad or just merely predictable that, of the 8 movies I saw this year, 4 of them were animated? I realized this fact upon watching the "2008 Animation" montage. (For the record, they were Madagascar 2, Kung Fu Panda, Horton Hears a Who, and -- ugh -- Clone Wars. The non-animated movies were The Dark Knight, the Indy movie, Tropic Thunder, and another kid movie, Hotel for Dogs.)

2) Does Hugh's performance as a buff singing and dancing guy herald the return of the sexy song-and-dance man (see, e.g., Gene Kelly)?

It's a miracle

2009-02-20T22:14:00.003-05:00

Two weeks in a row now, I've gotten out of the Giant -- with animal proteins and health food and goodies and everything -- for less than $100. Last week, between coupons and buying stuff on sale, I saved $35. This week I saved $30. I am loving this planning-meals-ahead stuff. It actually makes my life so much easier, and our bank account much heftier.

Ways to entertain yourself during a 40-minute Orange Line delay

2009-02-19T21:05:00.002-05:00

If you lean just the right angle in your seat, the sign over the Metro car doors says:

PLEASE DO NOT LEAN ON DOO

Hahahahahaha. "Doo."

Green is his favorite color

2009-02-16T20:38:00.002-05:00

As some of you already know, the SI swimsuit edition came out recently. When I saw it in our mailbox, I decided I'd quickly put it on my husband's nightstand so that the boys wouldn't stare too much. As I carried it through the kitchen, I noticed that AB was bending at the waist, trying to glimpse the back cover. I moved the magazine, and he twisted himself around to keep looking at the back of it.

Oh crap, I thought, have we reached this stage already? I am not ready for this.

Then I flipped the magazine over to see for myself what I would be forced to explain to the boy.

Click here to see what he was looking at.

I cannot describe to you the wave of relief that washed over me.

Today pretty much sucked

2009-02-12T22:18:00.000-05:00

Big day of law firm layoffs today.

One of my favorite attorneys of all time was let go. I interviewed with him for a summer associate position back when I was a 2L, and I knew then I wanted to work with this guy. He is one of the coolest lawyers ever, and a great trial attorney. And he always had faith in me and my abilities. He realized you become a trial lawyer by doing it yourself, not by watching others. This was a guy who, in my last week at my former firm, left me a voicemail message that said, "I know you've only got a few days left, but you've got to change your outgoing message! You're not just a 'litigation attorney,' [APL], you're a 'trial lawyer!'"

I hope he saved a lot of money and can just retire and spend tons of time with his adorable grandkids.

To anyone else who received notice today (or recently), my sympathies are with you, and I wish you the best of luck.

It puts the lotion in the basket

2009-02-11T18:54:00.003-05:00

I've had enough of "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)," that new Beyonce song.

I have nothing against Beyonce. I really like "Irreplaceable." And I have no issues with the point of "Put a Ring on It."

But the chorus? "If you like it then you should've put a ring on it"? It? Really? I can't help it, but anytime a woman is referred to as "it," I get flashbacks to Silence of the Lambs and Jame Gumb.

Such a polite young man

2009-02-09T21:05:00.002-05:00

One night when ALB was sleeping in the same room with us (at the Mouse place), he woke me up in the middle of the night. He was still asleep but was saying, in a very troubled voice, "No tank you, no tank you!" I wonder what he was being offered that was so awful.

Mouse-related fun

2009-02-06T21:43:00.003-05:00

As suggested by Susan and Klee (via email):

This is AB chatting with his favorite character as he gets an autograph, and those chubby legs off to the right belong to ALB, who is standing and watching, rapt.

Back home again

2009-02-06T14:40:00.004-05:00

We recently got back from a 5-day, large-mouse-related vacation. There were six messages on our answering machine. Every one of them was a recorded political message regarding the local special election held on Tuesday. And those were just the calls that the machine picked up--sometimes the robo-calls are so slow to start, my machine hangs up.

I've decided that I now need to be out of town for every election, if only to miss all the robo-calls. Where should I go in late October/early November?

Back into hiding after this....

2008-11-04T23:34:00.003-05:00

When I wrote this on my 30th birthday, I had no idea that my own commonwealth would be so critical in this election. I am so proud of Virginians today.

(Of course, pay no attention to the comments, where I naively imagine how wonderful an Obama/McCain contest would be.)

Checking out

2008-10-26T13:33:00.003-04:00

I thought taking a job that made the work-life balance tip further toward the "life" side would free up more time for blogging. Paradoxically, though, the more "life" time I have, the less inclined I am to spend it blogging.

I still enjoy reading and commenting on others' blogs. But I have no desire to keep this one going any longer. (Just writing this post is taking far too long.) I started blogging in October 2002 (moved it to Blogger in early '05), and I think 6 years is plenty of ranting. Don't be a stranger. Y'all have my email.

I'm a real Virginian, and this is real pfuckin' hilarious

2008-10-21T21:07:00.002-04:00

Jurassic park

2008-10-13T13:46:00.004-04:00

I'm off today (thanks to my new job at the Region's Largest Employer of Lawyers!), and the kids' school/daycare was closed. So this morning we set out for the mountains and went to DinosaurLand. I've lived outside DC for years and years (and years) and had never even known this place existed. The kids thought it was very cool. Angry Boy liked the gory bits: dinosaurs biting and goring one another. Angry Linebacker had fun and waved, "Bye, bye, di-daur" to all of the statutes. And, like a ~~sucker mom~~ dutiful mom, I stopped at the gift store on the way out and let the boys browse through the toys. I have to say, the toys were priced way lower than any gift store I've ever seen. AB finally decided to get a dinosaur skeleton puzzle (a T-Rex) for $3.50, and ALB had his unwavering sights set on a little plastic football for 39 cents. Can't beat that.

So I think we're going to go back in a month or so, if the weather's still nice out.

I swear I'm doing more than watching TV

2008-10-12T22:19:00.002-04:00

But this is my favorite ad right now. It gives me chills. *sigh* I love football. And I love my (non-football-playing) boys.

We're shooting for the moon and smiling Jackie's driving by

2008-10-12T21:50:00.005-04:00

As seen at Musey's:

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Jackie!

You are a Jackie. "I do everything the right way."

Jackies are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals.

How to Get Along with Me

* Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work.

* Acknowledge my achievements.

* I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am.

* Tell me that you value my advice.

* Be fair and considerate, as I am.

* Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive.

* Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first.

What I Like About Being a Jackie

* Being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal

* Working hard to make the world a better place

* Having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself

* Being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do

* Being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions

* Being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people

What's Hard About Being a Jackie

* Being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met

* Feeling burdened by too much responsibility

* Thinking that what I do is never good enough

* Not being appreciated for what I do for people

* Being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am

* Obsessing about what I did or what I should do

* Being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously

Jackies as Children Often

* Criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others

* Refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect

* Focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers

* Are very responsible; may assume the role of parent

* Hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry")

Jackies as Parents

* Teach their children responsibility and strong moral values

* Are consistent and fair

* Discipline firmly

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

And, some content:

Angry Boy read his first book tonight at bedtime. I'm very proud of him!

To the college student at the gym:

2008-10-06T22:42:00.002-04:00

Seriously? You're going to talk on your cell phone while squatting on a gigantic bouncy-ball in front of the lockers, thereby blocking access to eight out of twenty lockers? And you're going to keep mindlessly chatting about wrapping up your semester at Marymount while I tediously check several of the remaining lockers to see if any of those are not already filled with gear?

Seriously?

So now you know what his first name isn't

2008-09-28T20:32:00.002-04:00

Real conversation in the car ride home from school:

AB: Mommy, I don't really like my name. It's weird.
APL: It's not weird. It's popular in [other country], and your daddy and I think it's a great name.
AB: Well, I think it isn't very good.
APL: (sighing) Well, when you turn 18, you're free to change it legally.
AB: Good, I want to be called "Bullwinkle."
APL: You're going to change your legal name to Bullwinkle [LastName]?
AB: (laughing) Yes.
APL: Sounds good.

Insert your West Virginia jokes here*

2008-09-25T20:50:00.001-04:00

Actual conversation with Angry Boy over dinner the other night:

AB: Mommy, you should have another baby. A little girl.
APL: (laughing) Ooooooh, no. It's just gonna be you and [Angry Linebacker]. No little girl.
AB: (laughing incredulously) But Mommy! I can't marry [Angry Linebacker], he's a boy!!!
APL: (confused pause) Uh... You think I need to have a little girl so you can marry her?
AB: (less sure now) Right.
APL: No, honey, brothers and sisters can't marry. You wouldn't be allowed to marry your sister.
AB: (laughing incredulously again) So, what, I'm supposed to marry a complete stranger?!

*No offense, Kenju.

P.S.: Seriously, y'alls, how much would I pay to see footage of Pat Summitt putting the beat down on a raccoon? Daaaaayum. (And to protect her dog, too--what a good woman.)

APL -- Now content-free!!!

2008-09-23T21:20:00.005-04:00

Sorry, I have nothing to say. Here are some photos that AB took with the digital camera we got him for his birthday recently:

His toy dragon (one of them):

Angry Linebacker:

Portrait of the artist as a very young man:

The Women

2008-09-14T21:15:00.000-04:00

There were three women I idolized growing up.

Singer/songwriter Bonnie Raitt. Aside from the singing, she apparently drank a lot and had a lot of sex, and I thought she was cool.

Playwright Wendy Wasserstein. She wrote witty dialogue, and I thought she was brilliant.

Actor/writer Carrie Fisher. She was Princess Leia, she married Paul Simon (albeit briefly) and she wrote like a combination of Dorothy Parker and that voice inside my head. I wanted to be her.

My mother took me to see Bonnie Raitt for both the Nick of Time and Luck of the Draw tours. And she took me to see Wendy Wasserstein at the Smithsonian.

And a couple of nights ago, she took me to see Carrie Fisher's show Wishful Drinking. (Kenju's blog, Imagine What I'm Leaving Out, which is on my blogroll, is named for a line in the show.) The show was great, hilarious. Some of the lines I recognized from her books, but they were funny all the same. I brought a few of my books on the off chance that she'd be out signing books after the show: (1) a respectable, clean hardback of Postcards From the Edge, (2) a dogeared, slightly marked up (read: underlined) paperback of Postcards, and (3) an embarrassingly underlined, total fangirl-wrecked paperback of Surrender the Pink. Alas, we did not see her come out right after the show. All in all, it's probably for the best. Although I managed to speak coherently to Wendy Wasserstein when I met her, I doubt I could've retained my composure in front of Carrie Fisher. I would've been all fawning and babbling and "My senior yearbook quote was from Postcards!" It would have been humiliating and she no doubt would have gotten a restraining order on me.

Both my boys are going to wind up living at home

2008-09-11T20:52:00.003-04:00

Because I haven't taught them anything about money yet. I was just at Parent Hacks, and there are more than 100 comments on the "how do you teach your preschoolers about money?" post. Preschoolers? Craaaap. My oldest in in Kindergarten, and he just has a vague idea that stuff costs money. I've never even taught him the difference between quarters, dimes and nickels. The only thing he can tell you about the bank is that, at ours, he can get a lollipop OR a cookie. (I always take the cookie.)

I imagine our money management talks with the boys will occur much later. NSAH will sit the boys down and it'll go something like this:

[Job update: Still in the honeymoon period, I realize, but I LOVE it. Very exciting goings-on. Feel like I'm helping America, yadda yadda.]

"I like him more!" "No, I like him more!"

2008-09-04T21:51:00.003-04:00

This blurb from the local police blotter exemplifies why I love living in the DC area:

August 28, 11:30 p.m. A husband and wife had a verbal and minor physical confrontation over loud talking during the Obama acceptance speech.

Little bullies

2008-09-02T21:32:00.000-04:00

First day of Kindergarten didn't go well, and I'd love to hear from you all:

When I picked up AB, the first thing he told me... FIRST THING... was that recess didn't go well. I asked what he meant, and he said he came in last in all of the races and that BoyIDon'tLike won every time. I said it's OK and I explained that sometimes people are first and sometimes they are last.

AB: But [BoyIDon'tLike] won EVERY race. And I lost every time.
APL: Well, [BoyIDon'tLike] is older than you, and bigger than you. And it sounds like he's very fast. That must be something he's good at. What's something you're good at?

I figured I'd try to distract him, if that was all that was bothering him. I know losing sucks, but at some point (hopefully sooner rather than later) all kids need to learn that the world won't end if they lose something. I fear for kids out there whose parents try to protect them from that. (I recall reading a story that was about academic redshirting where a first-grade teacher said something like, "I've got seven-year-old kids who've never lost a board game before.")

But AB wasn't ready to be distracted from his day of woe, and he then complained that when he and BoyIDon'tLike were fighting, Precocious Girl was rooting for BoyIDon'tLike. Uh, what? So I tried VERY CALMLY and NONCHALANTLY to grill him (cross-examine him, really) to get the details of this supposed fight. I told him in no uncertain terms that if BoyIDon'tLike wants to pick a fight with AB, AB should just walk away.

But what I really want to do is tell BoyIDon'tLike to stay the hell away from my child. By the way, I'm calling him BoyIDon'tLike because this isn't our first issue with him. About a year ago, he and AB were briefly in the same class, and he would pick on AB then, too. And I want to say, yeah, you little punk, AB is almost one year younger than you. Big whoop. Now go bother someone else.

So, anyone else been in this position? I'm not worried about AB's safety right now (even despite his comment about "fighting"), so I'm not sure I'd want to raise it with the teacher at this point. And I'm not concerned that BoyIDon'tLike is acting jerky toward my kid (if indeed he is) because of some bullying at home. I've seen his mom at school, and she is very nice and polite, and NSAH says his dad seems mild-mannered and nerdish, too. I just have no idea if there's anything I should do, or if I should just sit back and see what develops. I'm leaning toward the latter.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

2008-08-31T22:18:00.002-04:00

Angry Boy went to bed tonight in the top bunk of his new bunkbeds (he subsequently decided to move to the bottom bunk at 10 pm, when he realized he was thirsty and couldn't reach his nightstand water from the upper bunk).

He spent the day in size 13.5 shoes (Skechers--yes, he already has brand loyalty), which I had bought in the hopes that he would grow into them in the future. I did not expect that he'd be able to wear them right now.

On Tuesday, he starts Kindergarten.

He is such a little man. It's kind of awesome.

Counterintuitive*

2008-08-23T21:23:00.000-04:00

The older I get, the more I appreciate Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun."

*It's also weird, or fucked-up, as Sabrina Mathews might say.

Can you tell me how to get to Arrested Development?

2008-08-18T21:13:00.001-04:00

Remember when Jim Henson's muppets were kind of subversive (see, e.g., the Alice Cooper episode of the Muppet Show)?

Well, a new season of Sesame Street started last week. Bunch of new things going on, certainly. A new cast member: Leela, an Indian-American woman. (AB was disappointed to learn it wasn't this Leela joining the cast.) A new feature called "Murray Has a Little Lamb," which I have to admit is pretty cute (it involves a tiny, Spanish-speaking purple lamb who is muy hiperactiva).

And guest stars who... aren't your typical guest stars. I sat there with my jaw on the floor as Neil Patrick Harris sang his heart out as the Fairy Shoe Person. And today, I about died when I heard Gob's "Final Countdown" theme song and then out came Will Arnett as Max the Magician. Bravo, Sesame Street, bravo.

They're the Knights of the Round Table....

2008-08-16T20:47:00.003-04:00

Had a great day today. (WARNING: This post is primarily for the benefit of NSAH, who was on the road today and would surely appreciate reading the recap. Will probably bore everyone else to tears.)

Sure, the kids woke me up early, as they are wont to do every damn day. But we watched a little Sesame Street, then played in the basement for a while. AB's new thing is wiffleball, so I tossed him a dozen or so pitches. He's getting pretty good, although I have to keep reminding him to keep his hands together. While we did that, ALB did puzzles. Then, at a respectable hour, we headed off to the local farm, where ALB made animal sounds and happily said goodbye to every "ammal." AB was kind of bored, but we then trekked over to the playground. He made friends with every kid there as ALB went down the slide over and over and over and over (x 10) again. Then we hit McD's and got a couple of Star Wars bobbleheads (Darth Vader--but I really wanted a Leia or a Han, shucks).

Then I took AB to this place. He had a blast, although I'd forgotten how long the show was and so he kept asking, "Mommy, when do they joust?" I thought it was fun (TOTALLY overpriced, but AB's admission was free, at least).

One thing I found interesting: there was a lot of princess stuff at the show, including merchandise and some whole drawn-out romance plotline between a princess and a prince. I remember going to a show back when I was a kid, waaaay before the Princessification of all young girls, and I don't remember any princess stuff or romance at the show. How things change.

Come on shake your body, baby, do the Ponda*

2008-08-11T21:29:00.002-04:00

Scene: At the dining room table after dinner, AB is playing with his (and my) Star Wars toys.

AB: (holding up action figure) Mommy? What's his name?
APL: Um... Ponda, I think.
AB: Mommy, do you know why he's called Ponda?
APL: (pause) No, I thought that's just his name.
AB: He's called Ponda after the dance. Because he dances the Ponda, that's what they call him.

*Know you can't control yourself any longah

The Break-up: It's Not You, It's Me

2008-08-07T22:30:00.001-04:00

I think we need to spend some time apart. It's not you, it's me. I'm at a point in my life where I need a change, I need something new. I think I've gotten the most I can out of this relationship -- I'm realizing I need more. You've been great, though, really. I have so many wonderful memories of our time together, all the fun I had, and how much you taught me. I have no regrets, and I hope we'll stay in touch and always be friends.

And someday, you're going to make another associate very, very happy.

And with that, I'm leaving the firm -- and firm life in general -- and starting a new job with the Biggest Employer of People in This Region (hint: it ain't private industry). I'm excited and sick to my stomach all at the same time. I really love the people I work with, and I like much of the work that I do. And I nearly cried when I had to break the news to those at work I'm closest to. I feel like I'm letting them down, and in some respects, I know I am. But the people I work with -- the good ones, anyway -- understand completely my reasons for leaving. And it really is a good time for me to try something new. I found what I think will be a great job with better hours (and the resultant lower pay, but still a substantial sum) that will teach me things I couldn't learn at the firm. And I won't spend my evenings and weekends thinking about billable hours or originations.

Hope this works out. I'll let you know.

Ready to rumble

2008-08-05T20:42:00.003-04:00

My Angry Linebacker (not yet 2) and Angry Boy (not yet 5) have discovered a new game to give Mommy heart attacks and cause much maternal scolding: wrestling. They start in the middle of our king-size bed, on their knees, and proceed to push each other and roll around in fits of giggles. ALB is usually the instigator. What he lacks in age and size (only in comparison to his older brother), he makes up for in heft and sheer tank-ishness.

When did my bed become the Octagon?

Reading is fundamental

2008-08-02T21:48:00.003-04:00

Now that I have some semblance of a life back, I've gone back and tallied your votes for which book I should read next. It was very close with many books getting one vote, but by my count, Catch-22 won the popular vote. I think after that, I'll finally get around to The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. I just finished reading Nick Hornby's A Long Way Down, which was weird but good.

Crisis of faith

2008-07-31T21:39:00.000-04:00

For those of you who are left peeking in on this blog and who may be wondering about my endeavors over the past month or so: I think I may have lost my faith in the entire judicial system. Lawyers,* judges, juries, the whole shebang. On the bright side, at least I get to act like a normal human being again. You know: sleep, eat, see family, etc.

*It is the height of hypocrisy for a lawyer who has charged a defendant with lying -- yes, accused someone else of lying -- to make misrepresentations to the court. I'm jus' sayin'.

Happy 4th!

2008-07-03T21:34:00.001-04:00

Hope everyone else enjoys a day off tomorrow. (I won't have to be at work till 10 a.m.--huzzah!).

I have a love-hate relationship with trial. I hate being away from my guys for so long (and that includes Small Dog), and I hate the toll it takes on my body (lots of stress, no rest, no exercise, very little food). But I really do love so much about trial, like the camaradarie of the team, and just the sport of trial itself. It's times like this I can't imagine why anyone would want to be a transactions attorney instead of a litigator ...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

Kept on waitin' for a sign in the middle of the night...

2008-06-25T23:11:00.000-04:00

Still hanging in there. Still prepping for trial. Missing the hell outta my kids.

These are the songs that are getting me through this month:

"Hold On" by KT Tunstall

"Walcott (Insane Mix)" by Vampire Weekend

"Lazy Eye" by Silversun Pickups

"Mary Mac" by Carbon Leaf

"Young Folks" by Peter Bjorn and John

"Couldn't Get it Right" by Climax Blues Band

"The Underdog" by Spoon

"Turn to Stone" by ELO

"Rockin' the Suburbs" by Ben Folds

"Honey Don't Think" by Grant Lee Buffalo

"Saint of Me" by the Rolling Stones

Any of my real-life friends reading this, I promise I will see you again once this is all over.

Marathon

2008-06-15T23:36:00.003-04:00

In less than 7 weeks, I get my life back. Must remember my law school cliches (it's a marathon, not a sprint and so forth).

Thank you, Fridge Phonics!

2008-06-11T22:44:00.000-04:00

ALB, who is not as verbal as his older brother was at this age or even younger (but who is, honestly?), knows some letters! He knows "O" and "E" and "W."

Maybe he's spelling "WOE."

Or "OWE."

Humperdink!

2008-06-09T01:14:00.000-04:00

I've been swamped before, and I'll handle it (thanks for your encouraging comments). But really, I've got nothing on Prince Humperdink:

"I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped."

(Caught TPB on TV while working from home tonight. Chris Sarandon is hot, even when - or maybe that's especially when - he's evil.)

That foot is me

2008-06-06T22:56:00.003-04:00

I am so far up to my eyeballs in work, I couldn't cry even if I wanted to because the tears would have no place to go. I just had to cancel my summer vacation (anybody want to sublet our rental?). Plus, all the stress at work has led to some in-fighting that makes my stomach hurt.

But at 10:30, NSAH suggested we put in the DVD of Animal House. And all is now right with the world.

Home again, jiggity jig

2008-06-05T22:04:00.000-04:00

I am somewhat jealous of Quinn. Her home state is freakin' gorgeous, and everyone is so nice. The rain is a tad overdone, so I wouldn't want to live there. But it's a nice place to visit. I hope to take the kids there someday, when I emerge from the prison that is work.

Want to hear something heartbreaking? I came home late (i.e., post bedtimes) again tonight, but I had promised AB I would go in and kiss him, even if he was asleep. He actually was awake, albeit drowsy, when I went in. We hugged and smooched, and then he asked, "Mommy, are you going back to work?" *sigh* "No, honey, I'm not going back to work. I'll be across the hall." "Good."

Another example of how sleep deprivation messes with your mind

2008-05-31T23:09:00.001-04:00

I just bought some songs off of iTunes to accompany me on an upcoming business trip. One of them was "Goonies R Good Enough" by Cyndi Lauper.

What have I done?

Bullets of an overworked litigator

2008-05-30T22:19:00.000-04:00

So tired. I cannot convey the tiredness. It's like being drunk. Only not so fun. And it's not a valid excuse to skip work.

I am so angry. (Surprised?) I was just at the grocery store, and my favorite oatmeal of all-time, which admittedly just came on the market a few months ago, has been discontinued! Noooooooooo! It was marked down 50% off, so I grabbed 4 boxes (because, come on, I have no pantry). So, on the plus-side, my purchase was in keeping with the new frugal me. Still, I wonder if Quaker is stopping production, or if Giant is once again just toying with me.

Clear and Present Danger is on. Mmmm, Harrison.

Trying to figure out how, with my lack of sleep and the whole working-round-the-clock thing, I can see Indy at the best movie theater in D.C. Might have to go to a laaaaate show. Oy.

Molson Canadian is really good. And it's a good accompaniment to juicy peaches. Mmmm, peaches 'n' beer. Sounds like a new lip gloss flavor.

Oh, and Vindauga? Clooney, hands down. He's been on my Top 5 for more than a decade.

Thirteen days till Ed Norton freaks me out. I'm so excited!

Williams Weekend

2008-05-26T21:39:00.000-04:00

Not the college. The composer.

Despite working more than 24 hours this 3-day weekend, I've managed to see Return of the Jedi, Star Wars, and part of E.T.

And AB spent most of the weekend humming the Indy theme, even though he's never seen any of those movies.

Memorial Weekend is definitely made for John Williams.

Terminated

2008-05-24T20:09:00.002-04:00

T.M. Shine has a wonderful and wonderfully funny piece in the Washington Post magazine. It's about being laid off. Sounds hilarious, right? Go read it now. You won't be sorry.

Friday Frivolity: Look how illiterate I am!

2008-05-23T19:59:00.010-04:00

As seen at Raising WEG, these are the top 106 books tagged "unread" at LibraryThing (which I haven't used before). This is list as of 7:45am EDT today, May 23, 2008.

~~Bold the ones you’ve read, underline the ones you read for school~~, I'm just going to underline the ones I've read ('cause the bold is too hard to distinguish), and italicize the ones you started but didn’t finish.

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Crime and Punishment
Wuthering Heights
Catch-22
The Silmarillion
Don Quixote
The Odyssey
The Brothers Karamazov
Ulysses
War and Peace
Madame Bovary (I read it in French!)
A Tale of Two Cities
Jane Eyre
The Name of the Rose
Moby Dick
Emma
The Iliad
Vanity Fair
Love in the Time of Cholera
The Blind Assassin
Pride and Prejudice
The Historian: A Novel
The Canterbury Tales
The Kite Runner
Great Expectations
Life of Pi
The Time Traveler's Wife
Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies
Atlas Shrugged
Foucault's Pendulum
Dracula (One of my favorite books when I was in high school)
The Grapes of Wrath
Frankenstein
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Mrs. Dalloway
Sense and Sensibility
Middlemarch
Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books
The Count of Monte Cristo (Does Classics Illustrated count?)
The Sound and The Fury
Memoirs of a Geisha
Brave New World
Quicksilver
American Gods
Middlesex
The Poisonwood Bible
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Dune
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (Worst. Book. Ever.)
The Satanic Verses
Mansfield Park
Gulliver's Travels
The Three Musketeers
The Inferno
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay (I fully intend to read this some day)
The Fountainhead
Tess of the D'Urbervilles (bleh)
Oliver Twist
To the Lighthouse
A Clockwork Orange
Robinson Crusoe
Persuasion
The Scarlet Letter (LOVED this book)
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
The Once and Future King
Anansi Boys
Atonement
The God of Small Things
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Cryptonomicon
Dubliners (Now THIS is good Joyce)
Oryx and Crake
Angela's Ashes
Beloved
Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
In Cold Blood
Lady Chatterley's Lover
A Confederacy of Dunces
Les Misérables
The Amber Spyglass
The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
Watership Down
Beowulf: A New Verse Translation
The Aeneid (it had more heart than the Odyssey)
A Farewell to Arms
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
Sons and Lovers
Possession
The Book Thief
The history of Tom Jones
The Road
Tender is the Night (My least favorite F. Scott, and I am a big fan)
The War of the Worlds

OK. I'll take votes. Other than The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, which I have made up my mind to read anyway, which of these should I read in the coming year? Whichever book gets the most votes by the end of the month, I will read before year's end.

Ode to Karen Allen

2008-05-22T20:43:00.000-04:00

Oh, how I love Marion. I wanted to be her when I was (almost) six. I still want to be her when I am (almost) thirty-three. And Karen Allen can do no wrong.* I know I am not alone in my worship. But unlike this yutz, who wrote an otherwise excellent article, I know what color Karen's/Marion's eyes are.

Indy 4 was very, very fun. And I am very, very tired (saw it at 12:01 a.m.).

* Although I admit that Boon, more than Katy, was my college role model.

Psychological barrier

2008-05-18T20:41:00.002-04:00

For the first time ever, I paid more than $50 to fill up my tank.

It's still less than $4 for regular around here, which is what my car takes. The gas stations are charging over $4 for premium, which makes me glad I didn't purchase the VW Passat back in '03 when I bought my current car. (The dealer said the Passat only takes premium.) But my regular-chugging car only gets about 20 mpg. Of course, it's all stop'n'go city driving because I live close to work. And I've only just 36,000 miles after five-plus years of driving. But still, that 20 mpg really glares like a neon light when gas costs this much.

Life is like a sandbox

2008-05-16T22:08:00.000-04:00

Not really, but I'm too tired to post anything of substance. Work has crossed over from "busy" to "insane." So this is all I got: AB burying knights and horses (I think you can make out the top of the horse) in the sandbox.

Best. Mother's Day. Ever.

2008-05-11T20:58:00.002-04:00

That is, despite being woken up at 6:30 by ALB and despite the generally crappy weather. This weekend:

I got a giftcard for Sandwich Place Where I Eat Almost Every Day from my boys, and a Starbucks giftcard from my dad and stepmom.

Today my mom came over with a cake that read "#1 Mom" for me.

We did our traditional Mother's Day outing, involving pandas, meerkats, tigers, otters and other fauna in simulated-native habitats. And involving souvenir stores.

There was much watching of "The Muppet Show."

Nearby Family came over for a few hours tonight to play with the boys so I could have "alone time," but I had so much fun that I hung out all night with them, too!

And the piece de resistance: ALB, who is not yet 20 months, peed in the potty TWICE this weekend! (No, I'm not potty-training him, but once yesterday and once today I asked if he wanted to sit on the little potty in the boys' bathroom, and he just sat and peed as if it was the most natural thing to do. Hahahahaha. Watch, he still won't be out of diapers until he's 4 and a half...)

Expired Beanie Weenies

2008-05-10T21:12:00.000-04:00

Last week I wrote about hot dogs. Crazy Cat Woman is also making careful food purchasing decisions.

I'm doing my part for my family food budget. I've started scavenging along the very back of our food pantry, making sure we consume canned goods before their expiration date. Or, admittedly, shortly after the expiration date. Case in point, tonight for dinner, I opened up a can of Bush's veggie baked beans (which are totally delicious and microwave-ready in less than 2 minutes) for me and a can of Beanie Weenies for ALB. I knew I'd bought them a while ago (before ALB was born, certainly) -- the Beanie Weenies expired on March 27, supposedly. Tasted fine to me. I'll let you know if ALB ralphs them up later tonight.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Totally random: Raiders of the Lost Ark is on USA right now. I clearly remember watching that in the theater with my dad and knowing, even at that young age, that I wanted to be just like Marion. There I was, not quite six years old, idolizing this young woman who could drink some big guy under the table and bash bad guys over the head during a bar brawl. Marion rules.

Ze job, she makes my ass tweetch

2008-05-07T21:21:00.000-04:00

Maybe more on that later. For now, bullet the blog sky:

I cut my doggie's nails today, but cut one too close to the quick. There was much blood. On my comforter. Poor Small Dog. Anyone have any tips on how NOT to do that? He was so good, didn't even whimper. Poor baby.

NSAH and I were driving home from the local pizza joint after dinner tonight. Came to a 4-way stop. No one coming on the cross streets. Line of cars facing me. I signal to go left. Gray Car across from me, with his left signal on, got there first. So as I stop, Gray Car goes. As he finishes getting out of the intersection, I start to make my left turn. This PSYCHO GIRL (looked 18-25) who was behind Gray Car, actually kind of veers around him to the right, on the very tiny shoulder and starts PULLING. STRAIGHT. ACROSS. Toward my turning car! I honked and braked. She veered to miss me, and then SHE FUCKING FLIPS ME OFF. She runs a stop sign and FLIPS ME OFF. Seriously? If NSAH hadn't been in the car, I would've probably had full-on road rage and done a mid-intersection 3-point turn and followed her.

Allergies are killing me right now. I spent most of my life being unaffected, but now I have a permanent itch in the back of my throat. So much coughing during the day. Ugh. And, cough.

When am I going to find the time to see Iron Man and, later this weekend, Speed Racer? When, I ask you?!

And I had heard that the X-Files 2 trailer would be shown during Iron Man, but have now been informed by various folks that's not the case. So when can I see the trailer in the theater and scream like a crazed fangirl? When, I ask you?!

Even linebackers need sleep

2008-05-03T22:02:00.003-04:00

That green thing on the floor? A tiny Kermit the Frog.

Recession diets and hot dogs

2008-05-01T20:02:00.001-04:00

The New York Times and the Washington Post have been writing about folks getting more careful with their grocery purchases, as food (and gas) prices climb.

I've always clipped coupons. I could be a partner in a BigLaw firm and STILL clip coupons. I grew up doing it, and I've always liked it. I actually get excited when I see a coupon for something I actually use.

I now realize I'm going to have to keep clipping coupons. I thought I'd have at least 9 or 10 years before my boys reached those famous ravenous-teenage-boy years. But both AB and ALB can eat two whole hot dogs at dinner and still want more. If NSAH and I also have 2 dogs each, that's a whole pack of hot dogs gone in one meal. I'm not used to that.

What's new?

2008-04-30T18:46:00.003-04:00

Not much is new with me. Still angry. Still a lawyer. Work has been crazy for months. I've had maybe 5 or 6 work-free days since New Year's. But I'm ready to ease back into the blog thing. I did miss you guys, really.

The Angry family is still rollin' how we roll. Angry Boy, like Muffin Man, is totally obsessed with Star Wars, and Star Wars Legos. My home is littered with little lightsaber pieces. He knows more Spanish than I do now, and he loves to make up songs on the piano.

Angry Little Baby needs a new name, and I'll take suggestions. He's not little (he's a linebacker or a rugby flanker in the making), and he's not a baby anymore (19 months). He loves to watch Sesame Street, and he dances and "sings" along to the Muppet Show theme song.

Not So Angry Husband is now even more not-so-angry, because he's learned Tai Chi.

Come downstairs and say hello

2008-04-29T22:12:00.002-04:00

Dorothy moves to click her ruby shoes
Right in tune to "Dark Side of the Moon"
Someone someone could tell me
Where I belong
Be calm
Be brave
It'll be OK

No more messing around and living underground
And New Year's resolutions
By this time next year I won't be here
I turn on turn on MTV
The volume's down
Lips move
They say
It'll be OK

To tell you the truth I've said it before
Tomorrow I start in a new direction
One last time these words from me
I'm never saying them again
And I shut the light
And listen
As my watch unwinds

To tell you the truth I've said it before
Tomorrow I start in a new direction
I know I've been half asleep
I'm never doing that again
I look straight at what's coming ahead
And soon it's gonna change in a new direction
Every night as I'm falling asleep
These words repeated in my head

Voices calling from a yellow road
To come downstairs and say hello
Don't be shy
Just say hello

To tell you the truth I've said it before
Tomorrow I start in a new direction
I know I've been half asleep
I'm never doing that again
I look straight at what's coming ahead
And soon it's gonna change in a new direction
Every night as I'm falling asleep
These words repeated in my head

Hello again.

Uh-oh, better get Maaco

2007-12-20T20:04:00.001-05:00

I interrupt my hiatus to bring you this random incident:

On my way to work today, I saw a woman driving a car with a license plate that read: HORCRUX

I immediately felt an urge to destroy her car. And then I laughed, imagining the sight of dozens of HP fans unable to fight that urge and ramming their cars into hers.

Happy holidays, and TTFN

2007-12-01T21:21:00.000-05:00

This blog has been dwindling into nothingness pretty much since my second child was born over a year ago. I've resigned myself to the fact that I can't raise two young children, work as hard as I need to, keep the house from falling apart, and have anytime for my husband or for myself and deal with the blog.

This isn't a permanent goodbye, so if you have me on Bloglines, you may be alerted now and again to a new post. I'll still try to keep reading your posts (although as you can probably guess, since my blog-writing time has vanished, my blog-reading time is pretty much nonexistent as well).

So in case I don't post again before then: Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, and _______ Festivus. (I'm not sure what the proper word is--surely at least one of you actually "celebrates" it, so please let me know.)

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-23T13:56:00.000-05:00

For those of you who keep track of such things, this year's Macy's Parade missing Sesame Street cast member was Gordon. Sorry, Gordon.

Continuing absence

2007-11-19T20:52:00.000-05:00

Having too much fun with the kids to post.

Have to stop slurring my speech

2007-11-14T21:50:00.000-05:00

In the car this morning on the way to work/daycare/pre-K, we were listening to a new mix on my iPod. Pete Yorn's "On Your Side" came on, and a little voice spoke up from the backseat.

AB: Mommy, is Pete Yorn real?
APL: (suppressing the urge to faint from the sheer cuteness) Yes, sweetie. Remember when you saw him in concert?
AB: Yes, but is he real?
APL: Yes. He's a boy from New Jersey who learned to play the guitar, sing, and write songs. He's a musician. That's his job, like mommy's job is to be a lawyer and daddy's job is [NSAH's job].
AB: But he doesn't do magic.

I spent the next three minutes trying to enunciate the difference between "magician" and "musician." To no avail, I think. Oh, well.

I will survive

2007-11-13T21:34:00.000-05:00

This scene and the excellent music therein were going through my head all day today, because... well, work's been challenging lately. But I am sticking it out, and I will overcome, dammit. (No, I didn't come out at the office yesterday. But Ellen's excellent dance moves apply nonetheless.)

(For those of you who didn't see Ellen's special "The Beginning," this was her interpretive dance on her life in the previous years.)

Another pink-collar job

2007-11-04T21:12:00.000-05:00

I took Angry Boy to see Bee Movie today. (It was pretty good. I went in with low expectations, so perhaps that helped.) There were some courtroom scenes, which were pretty funny.

In the car ride home, AB and I were talking about the movie. I wanted him to know that the courtroom scenes kind of demonstrated what his mom does for a living.

APL: Remember the scenes in that room, with the woman judge in the black robe and that really large, mean guy?
AB: Yes.
APL: Well, that big guy was a lawyer.
AB: (laughing) No, he wasn't. Lawyers are girls.

I guess it makes sense. If you asked him, he'd say he knows two lawyers: Me, and Sally from the movie Cars.

Fun with church signs

2007-11-03T22:19:00.000-04:00

Presumably in an effort to draw in more congregants, the sign outside our local Presbyterian church now reads:

JUST A LITTLE BIT CURIOUS?

As we drove by, I begged NSAH to stop the car so I could steal a certain letter "T."

You and me both, Papelbon

2007-10-29T22:20:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it, either. Go SOX!!!!!!!!!!!

As seen everywhere

2007-10-20T22:52:00.000-04:00

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Literate Good Citizen You read to inform or entertain yourself, but you're not nerdy about it. You've read most major classics (in school) and you have a favorite genre or two.
Book Snob
Fad Reader
Dedicated Reader
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

I'm just relieved it didn't peg me as a non-reader, given that I've read maybe 3 books in the past 2 years. If that. One day I will read books again. Really. When I'm not having dreams about billable hours, or cleaning Cheerios and bite-size carrots off the floor...

My four-year-old is so cool

2007-10-16T22:28:00.000-04:00

We were in the car this morning on the way to daycare, listening to 94.7, and a new song came on. The voice was familiar, and I asked out loud (to no one in particular): "I wonder if this is Snow Patrol. It sounds like Snow Patrol." Then the chorus started, and I realized it was SP's "Shut Your Eyes," which I'd never heard before. "It is Snow Patrol. Go, me."

Then a voice from the backseat said, "I want to hear 'Chasing Cars.'"

So I dug out my iPod, plugged it into the cigarette lighter, and we listened to that SP song. Then he wanted to hear some Rilo Kiley.

Love this kid.

Post for the sake of posting

2007-10-09T21:37:00.000-04:00

I finally used some of the iTunes cash NSAH gave me months back for my birthday. Songs purchased included:

"Baker Street" by Foo Fighters (already have Gerry, of course)

"Crooked Teeth" by Death Cab for Cutie

"Everything" by Alanis Morissette

"I Hear the Bells" by Mike Doughty

"I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by DCFC

"Key West Intermezzo" by John Mellencamp

"A Movie Script Ending" by DCFC

"Pictures of You" by The Last Goodnight (free song, so didn't count against my cash)

"Soul Meets Body" by DCFC

"Turn to Stone" by ELO

"Worn Me Down" by Rachael Yamagata (recommended by NSAH)

"1963" by Rachael Yamagata (id.)

Kiss-my-assionate conservatism

2007-10-03T19:49:00.000-04:00

Bush said he would do it, and as we know he never deviates from his word: he vetoed the children's health insurance program passed by Congress. The bill would have subsidized healthcare coverage for more than 6 million people, mostly children, in families that earn too much to qualify for Medicaid but not enough to afford private coverage. In other words, the poor, working and middle classes. The bill was supported by the AARP, the American Medical Association, and the American Cancer Society (in part because the bill was to be funded by a tax on cigarettes).

Bush vetoed it because:

1. It cost too much. So, he's seeking an additional $190 billion to fund the continued occupation of Iraq, at high cost to American lives, and is saying that a measure to provide health care to poor, working and middle classes--that costs less than one-fifth of what he wants to continue the occupation--is "too much." Oh, and I'm guessing that, unlike SCHIP, the $190 billion for Iraq won't be funded by a $1-a-pack cigarette tax.

2. It took the program too far from its original intent of helping just the poor. Yes, God forbid we also help the working and middle classes, and their children.

3. It would entice people now covered in the private sector to switch to government coverage. His point being? Look, if I've got insurance through work, and it's good insurance, I'm not going to switch to government coverage. But if I'm insured through work and very little is covered, and I have to come out of pocket for almost all expenses? Then what's wrong with me switching to government coverage? I'll have more money to sock away for my children's education expenses, or my retirement. Or, as Bush would prefer, to spend on mindless consumerism. Either way, it's win-win.

4. It's too close to "socialized medicine." Yes, government-subsidized health care is so evil ... except when your grandfather was a Senator and your family had government-subsidized (i.e., taxpayer-funded) healthcare. Or when your father was at CIA and had government-subsidized healthcare. Or when you were governor of Texas, and so on...

This is only the 4th bill Bush has vetoed. Two involved stem cell research, and the other was for the withdrawal of troops from Iraq. All four of these bills had the potential to save lives. "Culture of life," my ass.

So I won't forget

2007-09-25T22:58:00.000-04:00

At 1, he can:

clap when we ask him to

dance up a storm (mostly bouncing at the knees, but sometimes he does the snake)

pick up Cheerios (or dog food nuggets) off the floor

walk everywhere

give "kisses" when asked, which is when he smooshes his pacifier-mouth against my face... or the dog's face... or AB's face... or a stuffed animal's face

cry whenever I tell him "no"

sit still for more than 15 seconds... but not more than 1 minute

chuckle at almost everything

smile using every square centimeter of his face, including his beautiful eyes

His favorite song is the Alphabet Song or anything on 94.7.

His favorite foods are Cheerios, chicken nuggets, pizza, and green beans.

He likes toys that make music (which always prompts the dancing).

Driving music

2007-09-19T21:32:00.001-04:00

This weekend, we turned Angry Little Baby's car seats around, so now he will face forward in both of our cars. He's not quite one yet, but he's well over 20 pounds, the little tank. (He's already wearing AB's 24 month and 2T clothes. Ack.)

As I was grunting around in the backseat, I took the opportunity to clean out my car. It's always a mess, I admit. My favorite discovery among the trash collected on the backseat floormats (hey, when your kids' feet can't touch the floor, there's no big hurry to get that area cleaned up) was the mass of Yahoo! Maps directions to various courthouses in random parts of the state.

I also cleaned out my glove compartment. I have a bad habit of just putting in new insurance and registration docs without removing and throwing out the old ones. Hence, a lot of expired data in there. I also have CD cases for CDs that I haven't listened to in roughly three years. One of the CD cases had two CDs jammed in there, and one of the CDs was the soundtrack to the movie The Saint. Pretty bad movie, although Val Kilmer and Elizabeth Shue are both nice to look at for a while. (I like Shue, but I just can't buy "Alli-with-an-i" as a brilliant physicist.) The soundtrack, however, is pretty good, at least in terms of driving music:

"The Saint Theme" by Orbital

"Six Underground" by Sneaker Pimps

"Atom Bomb" by Fluke

"Da Funk" by Daft Punk

"Dead Man Walking" by David Bowie

This is excellent trying-to-make-it-through-traffic music. I decided to keep the CD in my car for my next emergency-drive-to-the-court-for-last-minute-filing episode. Or my next we-found-the-subpoena-dodging-witness-but-he'll-only-be-here-for-another-few-hours episode.

What's your driving-through-traffic music? I'm not talking fun roadtrip music (for me, that's A Decade of Steely Dan, for one), but stuff that gets you pumped up for dealing with all the crap out there on the roads.

Angry critics are the best critics

2007-09-13T21:11:00.001-04:00

Via Jane Dark, via Crunchy Granola, here are my top 20 career interests, according to some test:

1. Critic

2. Public Policy Analyst

3. Political Aide

4. Writer

5. Market Research Analyst

6. Translator

7. Criminologist

8. Activist

9. Communications Specialist

10. Print Journalist

11. Lobbyist

12. Certified Public Accountant

13. Personal Financial Planner

14. Dental Lab Tech

15. Plumber

16. Insurance Underwriter

17. Civil Litigator

18. Criminal Lawyer

19. Lawyer

20. Upholsterer

Number 3 cracks me up, because I hate the phony world of politics (says the woman who has lived and worked near DC most of her life). I would love to be a writer, of course, and I like how that's ahead of all the lawyer positions (numbers 17-19). I also think it's cool that my pre-law career is listed higher than the law positions.

Of course, tonight I wish I was number 15, because the toilet is leaking.

Mmm, Southern-cooked fat

2007-09-09T22:00:00.000-04:00

All the eating establishments that I wish we could've stopped at on our trip:

Steak 'n' Shake

Bojangles

Checkers

The Varsity

Church's Chicken

Mrs. Winner's

Place we did stop at:

Waffle House

So it was all good.

AB's impression of Waffle House: "I LOVE Waffle House! I want to eat here every day!"

Sorry, sweetie. Mama ain't driving 23 miles each way (our nearest one) so you can get yourself a waffle.

No offense to Christopher Reeve or Brandon Routh*

2007-09-03T21:15:00.000-04:00

For his birthday, AB got a sweet set of Superman PJs from his grandparents. It's got a detachable velcro cape and everything. He put on the PJ top after dinner with the grandparents and kept it on all evening, occasionally running around with one fist straight out ahead of him, just like in all the posters.

He asked that we call him "Superman" for the rest of the night. We did as requested. At bedtime, NSAH said, "Time to go to the potty, Superman."

AB replied: "Superman can't go potty."

NSAH: "Why not?"

AB: "Superman doesn't have a penis."

Someone page Lois Lane...

* Or George Reeves or Dean Cain or Tom Welling.

How'd you get so big?

2007-09-02T23:32:00.000-04:00

Well, I don't know how, but I love your grown-up speech patterns and your affectations. I love that you walk around with your hands in your pockets (just like your mommy) and I love that you refer to your baby brother as "my baby."

Happy birthday, Angelboy.

Does the 5-second rule apply to small clumps of dirt or dead bugs?

2007-08-28T22:04:00.000-04:00

The Carnation GoodStart website tells me that, at 12 months (no, ALB isn't there just yet), my baby may "begin to grab up small crumbs or pieces of food with two fingers."

What they neglect to mention is that he may begin to grab up small pieces (and not necessarily pieces of food) from the floor, and proceed to put them in his mouth.

Yummy.

On an unrelated note, ack. Just ack. This article about clingy parents and their college-bound kids made me cringe. When I was in college, our dads called once a week (usually on Saturday morning at sevenfreakingthirty). Email was mostly for college kids back in those days, but I emailed my mom occasionally at her work. I still remember my first long weekend as a freshman. It must've been Labor Day weekend, and I was stunned at how dead the campus was as all the in-staters went home for the whole three days! I remember thinking, "These people JUST left home!"

Giant Baby Walking

2007-08-25T21:59:00.000-04:00

ALB is walking now, and it's so cool. Except that I'm always afraid he'll fall and get a scratch or bruise on that beautiful face of his. You'll have to take my word for it, 'cause I can only show you his gorgeous eyes.

Also? ALB is freaking huge. When he was 10 months old, he started wearing AB's old 2T t-shirts, and they weren't big on him. I've cringed the few times I've bought clothes for him in recent months, because, really, what's the point? He'll outgrow them before 2 wearings.

AB, thankfully, has plateaued on the growth thing (so he gets fun clothes from the beach). And we know now from those "you must be this high" sticks on the Boardwalk that he is 42 inches tall.

Yeah, they're both going to be taller than me in short (har) order.

Despite my previous post to the contrary...

2007-08-21T22:55:00.000-04:00

I've decided work is for suckers. I'm packing it in and moving to the beach. The kids can commune with the jellyfish. I'll find a job picking up trash, and NSAH can sit down and write the Great American Novel while I try to write the Great American Dirty Limerick. Y'all are welcome to join me for beers and funnelcake. (Or Funnelcake, if she is inclined to bring all those boys of hers to the beach.)

AB this year:

So much bigger than last year.

The dispositive motion, Reader's Digest version

2007-08-09T00:01:00.000-04:00

Dear opposing counsel,

Bite me.

Respectfully submitted,

APL

(Days like these, I wonder why there are lawyers who DON'T want to be litigators. It can be so fucking fun sometimes.)

Who I've been thinking about

2007-08-04T08:19:00.000-04:00

I think I started reading Toddler Planet when I was on maternity leave with ALB. Another DC-area mom with 2 young kids, trying to get by.

Just a little while back, Whymommy was diagnosed with breast cancer, specifically IBC.

Please keep her and her family in your thoughts. And those who pray, please say a prayer. Thanks.

Your own complexity disturbs you

2007-08-03T22:03:00.000-04:00

How true.

As seen at KathyR's:

You Are Scissors

Sharp and brilliant, you can solve almost any problem with that big brain of yours.
People fear your cutting comments - and your wit is famous for being both funny and cruel.
Deep down, you tend to be in the middle of an emotional storm. Your own complexity disturbs you.
You are too smart for your own good. Slow down a little - or you're likely to hurt yourself.

You can cut a paper person down to pieces.

The only person who can ruin you is a rock person.

When you fight: You find your enemy's weak point and exploit it.

If someone makes you mad: You'll do everything you can to destroy their life

Are You Rock, Paper, or Scissors?

Rock baby

2007-08-01T20:53:00.000-04:00

Saw the boy from Jersey* and the guys from Mass. last night. Had never seen the boy before. It was my fifth time seeing the guys.

Reason why this concert was awesome: AB came with us. It was his first rock concert.

Part of me was worried beforehand that NSAH and I would be the oldest people there, and AB would be the youngest person there. Neither was true. I saw lots of kids in attendance, the youngest of which was probably 1 1/2. AB behaved very well. Much better than the shitfaced girls who sat near us (although I don't begrudge them, because their dancing kept AB very entertained).

Didn't even consider bringing ALB along. Heck, we only brought AB because he's a big fan of Pete Yorn, and he likes Guster, too. He even picked up a new favorite Pete song last night, "Good Advice."

Off to edit this post...

* As opposed to the man from Jersey or the guys from Jersey.

Funniest thing I've heard all week

2007-07-27T22:44:00.000-04:00

As many of you know, The Simpsons Movie was released today.

Also released today: Flanders.

Here's me as a Simpsons character:

Good boys & wayback machines

2007-07-23T21:26:00.000-04:00

Having an awesome night.

Both boys went to sleep without the slightest struggle. Angry Little Baby was so tired that even though I put him in his crib awake, he didn't make a peep as I walked out of his room and closed the door.

The rest of us had some yummy leftover birthday cake, and then I read Angry Boy How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight? He gave nice hugs and kisses and hasn't made any noise for the past hour.

And now NSAH and I are watching the "Goofy Ball" episode of NewsRadio. Love this episode. Maura was so hot before ER seasons 9 through 11 sucked the life out of her.

"Don't mess with a man with a Wayback machine, Dave. I can make it so that you were never born."

Thank you, Nora Ephron...

2007-07-21T07:13:00.000-04:00

...without whom I would have nothing clever to post on this day. (Seriously. I've planned this post for years now.)

* * * * * * * * * * * *

SALLY: (weeping) And I'm gonna be 40!

HARRY: When?

SALLY: Someday.

HARRY: In eight years.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Hope everyone else has a great day, too.

Potter on the brain

2007-07-16T22:21:00.000-04:00

As seen at Mimilou's:

What Harry Potter Character are You?

Harry Potter

You are an outgoing, fun person. You like taking charge and you're a leader. You would do anything to help someone in need and you don't understand why everyone is so infatuated with you.

Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

... except that I don't really like taking charge. I do it only when I feel like I have to.

Star Wars geek

2007-07-16T22:06:00.000-04:00

Took the family over to my dad's this weekend to chill out for lunch. It was fun--he's a really good Grandpa. Only a great dad would pack up his kid's Star Wars toys, in their original boxes, and store them in the attic for years. And only an amazing grandpa would go up into the scorching hot attic in the middle of a Washington summer to bring them down for his grandson to play with.

AB was wide-eyed. He loves the toys, and I was probably the most excited to see them. We now have this set up in the living room. Less than 2 months before AB can watch A New Hope...

Another kind of wizard

2007-07-12T22:09:00.000-04:00

Next weekend, on July 21st, while everyone else will be excited about the arrival of this, I'll be excited about another arrival.

Order of the Phoenix

2007-07-11T07:20:00.001-04:00

I am beat (although I got more sleep than expected, almost 3 1/2 hours), so here's my quick review before I go into work:

I really enjoyed it. Bear in mind two things: I have not read the book (any of them, for that matter), and I have really liked all of the four earlier movies (Chamber of Secrets probably being my least favorite of the four). That said, I'm not sure I'd say Order is my favorite, but it's right up there with Goblet of Fire. It was longer than 2 hours, but it was so crammed with story and action that not a moment seemed superfluous or edit-worthy. The time flew by. I laughed, I cried (almost).

Take this for what it is, the tired musings of a fangirl: I thought it was great. HP fans, go see it.

Edited to add: I agree with this review by the Post's Desson Thomson. If you see the movie, let me know in the comments whether you, too, were interpreting some visuals as a nod to a certain film starring John Hurt.

Anticipation

2007-07-10T20:36:00.000-04:00

Heading out to wait in line to see HP and the Order of the Phoenix. Will be too tired to write a proper review tomorrow, because I likely will only get 2 hours of sleep. Hey, it'll be like when ALB was a tiny baby again!

By the by, if I had magic powers, I would make AB's many bug bites disappear. Poor little man.

Adults! You strut around like your farts don't stink...

2007-07-05T20:22:00.000-04:00

Thoughts spawned by reading these posts over at Scrivener's (which referenced posts at Anastasia's and Twisty's place--and yes, I've read all the comments):

When I was younger, I didn't like children. Yes, even when I was a child myself. On the whole, I thought kids from birth through the teenage years were loud, annoying, discourteous and mean. Unlike other children my age (girls, for the most part), I avoided babysitting like the plague. I didn't care if it meant dollars in my pocket. I would find an excuse to be unavailable. As a child, I much prefered hanging out with adults. Of course, I knew a fair number of children who were not loud, annoying, discourteous or mean. These children were my friends … or were children I was able to ignore. On average, though, the adults that filled my world -- my parents, their close friends, my family members and my teachers -- were all amazing, wonderful, intelligent, caring, vivacious people. Oh, to live in a world where I could be surrounded by THESE people instead of those irritating children.

Flash forward about 20 years.

My world is now composed mostly of adults. These adults are rude. They act as if they are completely unaware of their surroundings, completely unaware of whom they might be affecting by their actions. They drive dangerously. They drive discourteously. They cut in line. They curse loudly (as do I). They toss cigarette butts out the window. They vote for Religious Right conservatives. They don’t wash their hands after they use the bathroom. They drive while intoxicated. They are cruel to animals. They are cruel to children. They can be horrid, horrid people.

I realize now that my perceptions were completely skewed by my environs. When I was a child, I was mostly surrounded by children (i.e., young human beings). Being surrounded by many young human beings, the odds were higher that the individuals who annoyed me would be children. In contrast, the adults who were a part of my life and whom I adored were not at all representative of the greater adult world. I just didn't know that at the time.

Now, I am surrounded by adults (i.e., older human beings). They provoke as much annoyance in me now as certain children did when I was younger. Being surrounded by many older human beings, the odds are higher that the individuals who annoy me are adults.

It took me many years, but I have finally had my realization, my light bulb going off. I do not dislike children. Please forgive me my prior child-hating ways.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bonus child conversation:

APL: [AB], I'm tired of you making these random nonsense sounds. If you're going to make nonsense sounds, at least let's play a game. You repeat what I say.
AB: OK!
APL: Ay, eee, eye, oh, you.
AB: Ay, eee, eye, oh, you.
APL: Good! Here's one you know. Eee-eye-eee-eye-oh.
AB: Eee-eye-eee-eye-oh.
NSAH: (sticking his head through the door) Baba Booey!
AB: Baba Booey! Baba Booey!

Happy Independence Day

2007-07-04T13:56:00.000-04:00

In the spirit of this day of our independence from the monarchy, I pose this question:

Do you suppose the people who get so upset over "activist judges" who supposedly usurp the authority of the legislature by "making new law" will be likewise outraged when the executive branch usurps the power of both the legislative branch (U.S. Sentencing Commission, whose powers were delegated to it by Congress) and the judicial branch (the federal judge who in his discretion sentenced Libby within the Guidelines range)?

Yoda, again

2007-06-24T21:41:00.000-04:00

I'm swamped again.

Re-reading that old post, I'm pretty pleased that I correctly pegged myself as Han-like.

Smart boy

2007-06-20T21:46:00.000-04:00

A commercial for Fox Sunday Baseball came on while we were watching our post-dinner Simpsons.

APL: Look, [Angry Boy], the Yankees are playing the Giants this weekend. Remember how last weekend we said, "Boo, Giants!" because they were playing the Red Sox?
AB: Yes.
APL: Well, when the Yankees play the Giants, which team do you think we root for?
AB: (ponders silently)
APL: Do you think we root for the Giants?
AB: Yes... Because we hate* a whole bunch of the Yankees except for one. He is very good and his name is Doug.**

* I swear I don't use this word around AB, not even when discussing the Yankees. We just say, "Boo, Yankees."
** We were watching the June 2 game together when poor Doug got concussed. We watched the replay over and over. Poor, poor Doug. Doug has a ring, you know. Which is why we like Doug.