Monday, January 30, 2006

Guarding the chips

Just yesterday I drafted (but didn't publish) a post about how I just don't feel like writing about anything anymore. Something happened today, though, that made me write this post immediately:

I actually gasped out loud at my desk when I read the news that Wendy Wasserstein died today. And then I emailed my mom at work to let her know. Her response: "I find that incredibly sad."

When I was in 9th grade, my mother took me to see The Heidi Chronicles at the Kennedy Center. I fell in love with everything about the production--the speeches, the humor, the music. I enjoyed it so much that I bought a paperback of The Heidi Chronicles, Uncommon Women & Others, and Isn't It Romantic and read all three plays obsessively for weeks. Then my mom decided to get me a matinee ticket for my birthday so I could go see the play again. My seat was fourth row center, and she could only afford one ticket at that price. So I went by myself. I felt so cool and grown up, especially during intermission, standing out on the Kennedy Center patio on a beautiful afternoon, amidst all the adult theatergoers. And I swear that, during curtain call, Mark "Scoop" Harelik looked right down at me. I would later wind up seeing The Sisters Rosensweig on Broadway in 1993 (with my mom and my grandmother), meaning I was lucky enough to see Madeleine Kahn (another fabulous woman who died way too young).

In the spring of my sophomore year of high school, Wasserstein was speaking at the Smithsonian. Again, it was my mother who accompanied me to hear her talk. It was in a windowless room in one of the museums (I can't remember which). At 15, I was the youngest person there, I think. Wasserstein spoke for a while about The Heidi Chronicles -- she mentioned the long monologue Heidi gives at the "Women – Where Are We Going?" gathering and admitted that she actually had to cut a lot out of it -- and about writing in general. Then she took questions from the audience. Although I was (and still am, to a great extent) usually loath to speak in public without having a prepared statement, I raised my hand. I think my mother was pleasantly surprised to see my hand go up in the air. When Wasserstein called on me, I stood up and told her how curious she'd made me about all the material she must have cut from the "Women – Where Are We Going?" monologue, and I told her I was dying to know what we missed. She was very nice and started listing all the hilarious details she'd wound up cutting. The audience laughed at most of it, so I was definitely glad that I asked.

At the end of her talk, a few people went up and spoke to her privately. I stood there patiently with my paperback while my mom waited in the back of the room. When she turned to me, I asked if she would sign my paperback with my favorite quote from Heidi: "All people deserve to fulfill their potential." She did, and I still have that autographed copy.

I don't know if I've fulfilled my potential yet. But at least her plays made me think about what my potential might be.

Phantom also wrote about Wasserstein.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Forget it, he's rolling.

OK, so I convinced Not So Angry Husband to play MASH. He was sitting next to me, with his laptop open, and I heard him say in his best Phil Hartman voice: "I'm Bill McNeal. On crack. I like boys!" I later figured he said this out loud because the quiz start page asks you to choose "I like boys" or "I like girls."

So NSAH took the test. And, as you can see here, the results were, in part: Your husband's name is Heather Graham ... He said, "Why does it say 'husband'?!"

Yup. In joking around about "NewsRadio" quotes, my husband actually clicked the "I like boys" option. Hahahahahaha.

It reminded me of the time in 8th grade when we had to take some type of national standarized test on history. I was sitting next to my best friend, A., and we were sailing right along on the test. At approximately the same time, we came to the following question:

In 1941, the ___________ bombed Pearl Harbor.
a) Japanese
b) Russians
c) Germans
d) Chinese
e) English

A. and I had watched Animal House many, many times by 8th grade. We both chuckled quietly, and started to fill in the bubbles on our answer sheets. Then, at the same time, we looked up at each other, perplexed. After a moment, we started cracking up, then bent our heads back down to our papers and began furiously erasing. We had both marked answer (c).

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

My future

I will live in a House with Goran Visnjic in Austin, TX. Like my future husband, I will be an Actor, and we will happily drive our One child around in our Subaru Outback, which will be Black.

Much better than when I played MASH as a kid and wound up living in a Shack with Peter DeLuise. Yes. Seriously. Peter DeLuise. I was all about "21 Jump Street."

Courtesy of Blonde Justice.

Random stuff

Work is fine. Better than fine, actually. I'm fired up on behalf of a couple of clients; fired up, but anxious about outcomes.

Watching "Scrubs" now. It's been a "Wizard of Oz"-themed episode, and now they're playing the version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" that I will always associate with Mark Greene dying on that other medical show I'm obsessed with.

My husband is threatening to let Small Dog out... and never let him back in.

Angry Boy has decided that he really likes the song "Never Been to Spain."

I need a haircut.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

I hate the nightlife

Coming home past 2 a.m. after a night at the club, and not getting to sleep till 2:30 or so would not have been too bad had Angry Boy not woken up (a) once at 5:55 a.m., crying out something that sounded like "my covers! my covers!" and (b) then again permanently at 7:45 a.m.

Plus, my body does not react to externalities the way it used to. I only had a couple of drinks but was completely dehydrated in the middle of the night. And the second-hand smoke at the venue made my eyes burn so much, I kept wiping the condensation off my drinks and rubbing it in my eyes.

Still, it was a good show. I'm going to have to update my concert list someday.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

iLove iTunes

As seen at Running*Cooking*Writing:

Total number of tracks in iTunes

Sort by song title
First song: #1 Crush, Garbage
Last song: Your Mother Should Know, Beatles

Sort by time
Shortest song: 0:14, it's actually not a song but an audio clip from NewsRadio involving Dave Foley and Tiffani Amber-Thiessen
Longest song: 19:48, Miss Blue, Filter

Sort by artist
First: 'Til Tuesday's Voices Carry
Last: Youssou N'Dour's 7 Seconds

Sort by album
First: 100% Fun, Matthew Sweet
Last: Zooropa, U2

10 most played songs
Pretty much the same as before.

First five songs that come up on Party Shuffle
1. This Is How It Goes, Aimee Mann
2. Precious Things, Tori Amos
3. Terminal Frost, Pink Floyd
4. Private Idaho, B-52s
5. Accidents Will Happen, Elvis Costello
(That would be some weird party...)

Number of search returns for:
sex: 3
love: 37
you: 104
death: 1 (Deathly, Aimee Mann)
hate: 10
wish: 5
life: 13

10 last played
1. Don't Panic, Coldplay
2. Round of Silence, Blue Yard Garden
3. Humpty Dumpty, Aimee Mann
4. The Remedy, Abandoned Pools
5. Sleeping With the Lights On, Teitur
6. Walking, Jonatha Brooke
7. Pitseleh, Elliot Smith
8. Golden Touch, Razorlight (iTunes free download--not bad)
9. Warning Sign, Coldplay
10. All At Sea, Jamie Callum

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Friday Frivolity

As seen at Everybody Knows:

Your results:
You are Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman
The Flash
Green Lantern
Iron Man
You are a beautiful princess
with great strength of character.
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Really? I always thought of myself as more of a Marvel Comics kind of superhero.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

My funky monkey

Lawmummy's post on her daughter's love of the Boss reminded me of the fun musical time I had with Angry Boy on Monday afternoon. His daycare was closed for Martin Luther King Day, so -- like many parents -- Not So Angry Husband and I alternated shifts at home. AB was in a great mood all day, and so I decided to try out some new songs. I need to point out that AB is very picky about his music, and he isn't shy about showing it. If a song comes on that he doesn't like, he will holler, "No, we no listen to that song!" So it's very exciting for me when he welcomes any new music into his repertoire.

I opened up my iTunes and carefully selected some songs to play. A few songs did indeed meet with his approval: "Who Let the Dogs Out," "Battle Hymn of the Republic" (which I told him was called "Glory, Glory"), and "Brass Monkey."

And, since I took requests, we of course listened to "funk." Over and over and over again.

Monday, January 16, 2006

No, you don't know me

Just when I'd completely forgotten about Cookie magazine, guess what shows up in the mail Saturday? An exortation to subscribe!

Here's part of their pitch:

If you don't care about how to cut sandwiches into cute little stars...

Um, even someone as undomestic as I am knows how to do that--you use a cookie cutter.

If you've vowed never to dress your child in anything with a licensed character on it...

Vowed never to...?! Angry Boy's coolest shirts are his Yoda T (which reads "Size matters not") and his Darth Vader T (which reads "Who's your daddy?"). And you all are on notice: if you ever see Muppet Show clothes in toddler sizes, you must let me know where to get them!

If you want everything you do and buy for your child to be the best it can possibly be, and nothing less...

Oh, NOW I get it. This is a magazine for people having their first child, because anyone who has already raised one child knows that if you intend to settle for nothing less than the best, you will go crazy trying to live up to some unachievable standard.

...COOKIE is the magazine for you.

OK, so as if we didn't know before, we have now established that Cookie is most definitely not the magazine for me.

The magazine for me? 'Peddle That Shit Elsewhere' Weekly.

Quiz time

On a particular Thursday, on ER, Abby announced to Luka that she was not going to terminate her pregnancy and that she wanted to have a baby with him.

Without looking at a calendar, can you guess the date of that Thursday, as well as the following Friday, in which my site was deluged with people wondering whether the actress herself was pregnant?

(Still no word from Maura--she hasn't returned my calls ever since I mentioned the Maura Tierney Ovulation Graph.)

8 minutes removed from a Strokes song

It's 12:43 (hence the title), and I've just finished up assignment number one. On to assignment number two...

(Assignment number three has been unceremoniously kicked to tomorrow afternoon's agenda. And numbers four and five can kiss my ass and stand in line.)

Friday, January 13, 2006

Friday frivolity

Everyone's doing the MyHeritage thing, uploading photos and finding out "which celebrity you resemble the most!"

These are my results:
  1. Britney Spears - 64% (I don't even know what to say here)

  2. Matt LeBlanc - 62% (I think I look more like Matt than Britney)

  3. Amitabh Bachchan - 60% (I had to look him up; bet Neel knows who he is)

  4. Mel Brooks - 57% (I was just saying earlier today how much I love him...but my nose is not that big!)

  5. Scarlett Johansson - 57% (again, not quite)

  6. Hillary Rodham Clinton - 55%

  7. Placido Domingo - 54%

  8. Annika Sorenstam - 54%

  9. Yael Bar Zohar - 54%

  10. Nicole Kidman - 51%

Good news from the Free State

Back in May, I was angry that Maryland Gov. Ehrlich had vetoed a bill that required companies with more than 10,000 employees (in other words, Wal-Mart) to spend 8 percent of the company's payroll on health care benefits or give that money over to the state's health care program for the poor.

Well, Maryland's legislature has rectified the situation, overriding the veto. I really like this law, because it doesn't necessarily keep out big stores like Wal-Mart. It just tells big companies, "Look, if you come here, you can't screw over your employees." That's why this quote from Wal-Mart's spokesperson was so laughable:

"This vote was never about health care," Hurst said. "In allowing a bad bill to become a bad law, the General Assembly took a giant step backward and placed the special interests of Washington, D.C., union leaders ahead of the well-being of the people they serve. And that's wrong."

I don't know, I think what the General Assembly did was most definitely done with due consideration to the health and well-being of the people they serve.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Tom Sietsema backs up what my husband and I have been bitching about for years:

Washington, D.C.: Why do you never seem to review BBQ places?
I will bet they appeal to more folks than the newest $100-a plate celebrity hangout!!!
Tom Sietsema: I bet they would, too!
My short answer: Good barbecue -- as in lusty, rib-stickin', transporting, oh-my-god-this-is-better-than-you-know-what barbecue -- is a rare commodity around here.

My computer-cutoff goals went by the wayside last night, as did the 11 pm bedtime. But all was not lost--I was only about 20 minutes behind in each of my endeavors. So, when Angry Boy started coughing up a storm at 6:15 a.m., I'd had plenty of sleep by then and waking up wasn't a big deal.

Once I post this, I'll sign off from the Internets, but I can't cut off the computer. I'll be up for another couple of hours reviewing docs, and making some notes about what I'm finding.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Sunday night: successful

Last night I turned off the computer at 10 and was asleep by 11. Had a great day in court and a good day at work (my reward for early-to-bed?). And tonight I folded AB's laundry and wrote most of my thank you cards. Only three more to write.

Tomorrow night I will probably do some work, finish my thank yous, and watch "Scrubs."

9:59. Turning it off now...

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Woefully behind

I've got a ton of menial stuff to do, but my weekends and evenings keep getting subsumed by work. If Angry Boy's hair gets any longer, I'll be able to braid it. And not a single post-Christmas thank you card has been mailed. And I haven't worked out since... it's been so long, I can't remember. Every night I say, "I'm going to bed before 11 tonight," and every night I'm up till 12 or later. But I'm making a change this week. Starting tonight (mostly because I have to get up very early for court tomorrow). I mean it this time.

The computer will be turned off every night this week by 10 p.m., allowing plenty of time to get ready for bed and settled in before 11. It's a small thing, but like Bob, I've got to take baby steps.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Holy crap

From 9:55 p.m. to 11:42, twenty-nine people came to my site wanting to know whether Maura Tierney was pregnant. What must it be like to have such a popular uterus?

NewsRadio heals all

With a nod to Neel:

MR. JAMES: You ever heard Ruth say anything about taking up arms against the government?

DAVE: Sir, I've hardly exchanged five words with the woman.

MR. JAMES: Uh huh. Were any of them about taking up arms against the government?

No, I'm not planning to take up arms against the government, but today I wound up venting about two different federal agencies that have railroaded my clients recently. A pretty surprising attitude from someone such as myself, who always dreamed of wearing the white hat to work and putting the bad guys away. Anyway, had a pretty shitty day. A day late for Wednesday Whining, though, so I'll shut up now. It'll be tomorrow soon enough.

In-the-Midnight-Hour Billable Ten

At least I've got Not So Angry Husband keeping me company (he's working, too). And we've got the USC-Texas game on. I'm rooting for USC (sorry, KathyR) because of the Mack Brown hate. HATE.

Anyway, here's my billable ten (think I surpassed 14 hours today--yay, me):
  1. "Do You Realize?" by the Flaming Lips

  2. "The Killing Moon" by Echo and the Bunnymen

  3. "Camera One" by Josh Joplin Group

  4. "Trout" by Neneh Cherry and Michael Stipe

  5. "It's a Sin" by the Pet Shop Boys

  6. "Greedy Fly" by Bush

  7. "He Got Game" by Public Enemy

  8. "Screaming Infidelities" by Dashboard Confessional

  9. "Rexall" by Dave Navarro

  10. "Name of the Game" by the Chemical Brothers

UPDATE: Game's over. Stupid Mack Brown.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Hoboken? Isn't that the same as Manhattan?

One of my favorite nothing shows (i.e., shows I can watch when absolutely nothing else good is on TV) is "Small Space, Big Style" on HGTV. Tonight I was watching a repeat, and they were profiling a guy who lives in Adams Morgan, a neighborhood in D.C. Only they kept showing restaurants that were clearly in Shirlington. Which is not a neighborhood in D.C. It's in Arlington, Virginia. I recognized the problem immediately because I used to spend much time in Shirlington (there's an excellent artsy fartsy* movie theater there). Whereas I spend minimal time in Adams Morgan because they don't appreciate the fact that some of us have cars and like to park them while we go inside a restaurant. But anyway, the Shirlington shots actually pissed me off because it's not as if Adams Morgan is hurting for restaurant or bar exteriors that would make cool images for a show like this. It made me wonder how many other exterior shots this show--and others like it--completely flub.

* Speaking of artsy-fartsy movies, go see Syriana. I mean it. Go now.

Sunday, January 01, 2006


Last year's resolution was out by February: to see at least one movie in the theater each month. I think I saw maybe 6 or 7 movies in the theater in '05. So, after last year's failure, I haven't put much thought into any new resolutions.

Having a lazy weekend. Watched Madagascar three times since just yesterday morning. Seems it's a popular gift. We also watched The Muppet Movie, but after a while, I was the only one watching. The other DVD we got was Mary Poppins, and we haven't watched it yet.

Before I go, here's a little list (mostly to remind myself) of 2005 events in my life:
  • I gave more to charity than ever before (tsunami, Katrina)

  • I discovered some heretofore unknown skills as a lawyer

  • I had fun at work (for at least 3 months)

  • I said goodbye to Big Dog

  • I only read 3 books, my lowest total since... 2004 (also 3)

  • I traveled a lot (for me)

  • I had mono (and didn't know it)

  • I really enjoyed watching the Final Four and NCAA championship

  • I moved my blog to blospot, and people actually started reading it