Saturday, December 10, 2005

I'm not selling sheep

One of my best friends - one of the smartest and sweetest people I know - is the Queen of Misheard Lyrics.

I discovered this when we roomed together in college. We were listening to some AC/DC. These are the words that came out of QML's mouth:

She was a death machine
She kept her motor clean...

Hahahahaha. Another classic was when we were listening to Whitesnake.

QML: (singing) Here I go again on my own,
Going down the only road I've ever known.
Like a victor I was born to walk alone...
APL: Hold up! Did you just sing "like a victor I was born to walk alone"?!
QML: Um... "like a ... twister"?
APL: Oh, Jesus God.

Because of her propensity toward misheard lyrics, my other friends and I often had fun at her expense. Like the time we tried to convince her that Oasis was singing:

I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About your cow.

We were at Miami Subs when the song came on, and we were making up the lies on the fly. My friend B. came up with, "Yeah, the Gallagher brothers converted to Hinduism, and they believe cows are sacred.* That's why they're singing about how nobody feels about cows the way they do." I played along as best as I could. Everytime the chorus came up, B. and I had to sing over the actual chorus, in order to convince my friend.

Then there was a later time, when QML and B. had come to visit me, and we convinced her that Courtney Love was singing "I'm not selling sheep" instead of "I'm not selling cheap."

QML is going to be a mommy next month. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when she starts singing lullabyes to the baby.

* This bit about Hindus believing cows are sacred is not true, but we were making shit up left and right just trying to convince her.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I should point out that QML is very intelligent. Her ear just doesn't quite match her brain.

And she walked in on our first kiss, so she wasn't always completely aware of what was going on!


10:17 PM, December 10, 2005  
Blogger Seeking Solace said...

Ha, Ha. We are all guilty of misunderstood lyrics! I still love "scuse me while I kiss this guy" (Purple Haze) and "there's a bathroom on the right" (Bad Moon on the Rise)! And my personal favorite.

Blinded by the light
Revved up like a douche
Another mother in the night

I wonder how she will sing Rock-a-Bye Baby???

10:47 AM, December 11, 2005  
Blogger Phantom Scribbler said...

I thought it was

Revved up like a douche
A ruler in the night.

I may be the Princess of Misheard Lyrics, though. If it's possible to have some sort of aural dyslexia, I do.

10:51 AM, December 11, 2005  
Blogger liz said...


12:02 PM, December 11, 2005  
Blogger Neel Mehta said...

Strange link about Hinduism, in that a lot of Hindus might disagree. Even if everything the author says is true, we still don't disassociate ourselves from all things cow. The cow remains an enduring symbol of purity, as the child Krishna herded cows.

In other news, "Blinded by the Light" deserves to be misinterpreted, as the real lyrics are too stupid and nonsensical to be preserved in the annals of music history. As far as I'm concerned, "wrapped up like a douche" is way better than anything Manfred Mann was trying to say.

1:48 PM, December 11, 2005  
Blogger Seeking Solace said...

Actually, Springsteen wrote it. The actual lyric is:

Cut losse like a duce
Another runner in the night.

We were all WAY off!

4:33 PM, December 11, 2005  
Blogger Yankee T said...

Instead of "hold me closer tiny dancer" I heard "hold me closer, Tony Danza!"

10:56 PM, December 11, 2005  
Blogger ccw said...

This is so funny! My mom does this constantly.

Phantom, who didn't think that song was saying douche??

9:39 AM, December 12, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Springsteen version is actually LESS comprehensible, if you can imagine that.

Of course, I still think he's singing "Come on up, fertiLIIIIzer," so I obviously can't translate Bruce in my head.


12:47 PM, December 12, 2005  
Anonymous Genevieve said...

"Hold me closer, Tony Danza" is the winner as far as I'm concerned. Ay, what an image!

These are also called mondegreens, after some frequently misheard Greensleeves-era song where they laid him "on the green".

I am also the queen of misheard lyrics. Please, APL, will you post the actual lyrics for your examples?

My worst was thinking that the Indigo Girls sang, "What made me think I could start being sated," instead of "What made me think I could start clean-slated." The husband still quotes that one at me.

1:10 PM, December 12, 2005  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

Ok, I did an exercise video yesterday, my abs are KILLING ME, and this post is making me laugh sooooo hard that I am doubled over in pain.

The cow. gasp, ha ha ha, the cow!!!

I'm not selling sheep. BWAH HA HA HA HA! My stomach! Oww!!!

1:22 PM, December 12, 2005  
Blogger Running2Ks said...

Oh that cow thing is hilarious!

"Excuse me, while I kiss this guy"

1:55 PM, December 12, 2005  
Blogger Angry Pregnant Lawyer said...

OK, now I feel the need to point y'all toward these three books, which I own. I got the first one for QML back in college. They are hilarious.

2:24 PM, December 12, 2005  
Blogger Mieke said...

We were just talking about this last night at dinner. I am famous for this.

Prince's "she wore a rasberry beret" was "she wore a red spherical dress."

Culture Club (how's that for a name from the past) "I'll tumble for you." was "I'll call my lawyer." (my parents were getting divorced -shows you where my head was.

And then Van Halen "Panama" at a party while everyone was singing "Panammaaaaaaa" at the top of their lungs I was singing "Let it rooooooooll."

What a dork. I always have been. I like to think of it as part of my charm.

10:19 PM, December 15, 2005  

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