Saturday, April 09, 2005

Observations from a week away

  1. Got on a plane in the past few days. Both the pilot and co-pilot were women (a fact that was pointed out to me by the octegenarian in the seat next to me, who seemed happily surprised). I was immediately reminded of going on a trip with my father when I must have been around 5 years old. I think we were flying to DisneyWorld. The pilot came on over the speakers, and it was a woman. My dad turned to me and said, "Uh oh, a woman pilot? We're going to crash." And I turned to him, full of 5-year-old outrage, and said, "DAD!" And he just laughed. At the time, I thought he was really denigrating women. Now I realize he was just doing it 'cause he knew he'd get a rise out of me, and it was funny to him to make his liberal little 5-year-old daughter get indignant.

  2. Got on another plane. The men nearest to the front were shamelessly flirting with the supernice flight attendant. It was disgusting. While she was demonstrating the oxygen mask, one of the guys said, "Ooo, you do that so well." She kind of smiled and ignored him, but the jerk didn't get it. He went on, "Is this your first time?" GRRRRR. SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPYOUFUCKER. She responded tersely but politely, "Oh, I've done this tons of times. Wish I wasn't doing it tonight, though--my mother had a stroke this morning and I'd really rather be with her in the hospital." And I don't know if she was serious or was just trying to make the guy feel like shit, but IT WAS AWESOME. He turned white and looked like he was going to vomit right there. I'll bet it will be a while before he flirts obnoxiously with a flight attendant again.

  3. Pinkeye is very contagious.

  4. The worst state in the union is ___________. I will never understand people who choose to live there. Scrivener, you will know what I'm talking about (no, not your current home state).

  5. Met a very nice professor who teaches at Samford. Professors rule.

  6. Cockroaches are disgusting, even when they are small.

  7. There's no place like home.


Blogger Phantom Scribbler said...

Wait, APL -- are you implying that flight attendants are human beings with more purpose in life than simply to provide middle-aged business men with a fantasy object while they fly?

Glad to have you back! We (the, um, royal we) missed you!

10:56 AM, April 10, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not royalty, but I missed you too. Worst state - Mississippi, Texas or South Carolina?

2:56 PM, April 10, 2005  
Blogger Musey_Me said...

Yeah - which is the worst. I'm guessing corndog is on to something with those 3 guesses!

4:29 PM, April 10, 2005  
Blogger phoenix said...

I would venture that it is either Mississippi or Alabama... but then again I am not biased. NOT!

9:57 PM, April 10, 2005  
Blogger Mieke said...

Welcome home.

12:28 AM, April 11, 2005  
Blogger jo(e) said...

I loved the flight attendant story. I always make a mental note to remember great ways to reply to obnoxious men.

One of my personal favorites is to just stare at the person and ask him to repeat what he said. Most will squirm and not say anything.

7:59 AM, April 11, 2005  
Blogger Scrivener said...

As Jeff Tweedy says, "Get me out of F L A"! That place is a pit.

4:04 PM, April 11, 2005  
Blogger Scrivener said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:04 PM, April 11, 2005  
Blogger Scrivener said...

And with regard to your last point, Tweedy also says it best, in the song which I'm kind of adopting as a personal anthem these days: " When you're back in your old neighborhood
The cigarettes taste so good
But you're so misunderstood
You're so misunderstood

There's something there that you can't find...
I'd like to thank you all for nothing
I'd like to thank you all for nothing at all
I'd like to thank you all for nothing
Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing at all
Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing at all"

4:07 PM, April 11, 2005  
Blogger Scrivener said...

That last song makes much more sense hearing it of course. If you get a chance to, go listen to Wilco live. In concert they really stretch out that thank you chorus--last time I saw them, there was at least ten minutes of wailing guitar and "I'd like to thank you all ... for nothing ... nothing ... nothing ... nothing ... nothing at all." Awesome.

4:09 PM, April 11, 2005  
Blogger SuzanH said...

Also glad you're back--I'd go with Florida as the worst, but the small cockroach thing throws me off.

There are no small cockroaches in Florida.

I'm skeeving myself out.

Excellent flight attendent story. She rules.

5:52 PM, April 11, 2005  
Blogger bitchphd said...

Like everyone else, I love that flight attendant. I will add that honoring those small triumphs is the best thing about blogging.

9:55 PM, April 11, 2005  
Blogger Angry Pregnant Lawyer said...

SuzanH, it must've been a baby cockroach I saw then, 'cause Scrivener and you are on the money. Don't get me wrong, I like DisneyWorld as much as the next fat, obnoxious American. And Sanibel Island and Captiva are great places to visit. But the state as a whole skeeves me out and, at times, makes me sad. I can't verbalize it any more than that, I'm afraid.

9:59 PM, April 11, 2005  
Blogger Scrivener said...

Gotta disagree with SuzanH, actually--there are plenty of small cockroaches in Florida. Also plenty of large ones. And medium-sized ones too. We've (oops, sorry, they've) got all kinds of cockroaches.

10:43 AM, April 12, 2005  
Blogger feelin' Sassy said...

Loved your account about the flight attendant. Priceless way to get those jerks.

On the worst State to live, I'm guessing Mississippi. Tell me it's not Arkansas which is where I live although I'm a transplant and people live in these States because of circumstances beyond our control.


11:43 AM, April 12, 2005  
Blogger Angry Pregnant Lawyer said...

Arkansas is home to the Clinton Library--how could it possibly be the worst state?

9:04 PM, April 12, 2005  
Blogger feelin' Sassy said...

Yes, home of the Clinton Library & I'm sure it will always feel like home to Clinton himself even though many who once loved him have turned on him.

Arkansas fights for the bottom slot in the nation on many stats such as highest teen pregnancy, poverty level, worst schools and other things that don't is why I say I thank God for Mississippi & South Carolina every night.

9:46 AM, April 13, 2005  

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